Spiritual Illusion as Karma In the Outer

…spiritual illusion…how we perceive something in terms of how it is, and how it exists…which is based upon…the water that we’re drinking, the tone of an in-breath nature. We get caught up in holding those ideas locked. We call that a spiritual illusion. You can have a good aspect of that and a bad aspect of it.

the Dreamer

I had two meditation dreams and a very in-depth sleep dream. Now, the first meditation dream, if it had been left to just this meditation dream would have had me feeling like a disaster is coming. There were three scenarios in this dream. Each one ended badly. I can’t read the writing on the first one, but the second one had to do with calling in to try to get a stock quote. I couldn’t remember the name of the company. I mentioned a company like US cellular and they say, “stick with that one”. They say “We don’t like most of what you do, but stick with this one.”

Everything I did lead to a disaster. The first one was a disaster. In the third one I’m driving along and all of a sudden the car stops at an angle in the middle of the road. No engine running; nothing, then it starts to roll towards the ditch. Try as I might. I can’t find the brake. I’m shocked and helpless. I’m going to crack up there.

All three of these images are saying the same thing. I embody a catastrophe, a crack-up: a disaster in the making.

We generally talk about spiritual illusion with the definition being how we perceive something in terms of how it is, and how it exists, and how that is meant to be in our opinion which is based upon our moods and mannerisms or the water that we’re drinking, the tone of an in-breath nature. We get caught up in holding those ideas locked. We call that a spiritual illusion. You can have a good aspect of that and a bad aspect of it. A spiritual illusion follows the in-breath aspect and keeps you from going somewhere.

Yet there’s another half to it. You can have the spiritual illusion like that, or you carry some other kind of attachment or mannerism within your nature and it jinxes whatever you do. I remember a story about a woman that had some sort of specialness about her, where she could go, right where the teacher was staying; she just had free reign. I don’t know what it was about her, but I would talk to her. She was very poor all the time. And one day she told a dream to our teacher, and he says, “You just keep having the same pattern happening again, and again, wherever you go, you get flooded or something happens, you’re attached to your poverty. ” Usually you hear this said of one who is mistaken in their grandiose spiritual illusions. But it can also go the other direction.

So the disaster of things was how this started. Then I progressed into the next meditation. Good thing I had another meditation dream. I’d have been all worried about something going to fall apart in the outer because I still have a tendency to apply it like that. The next day I experienced the sensation where, things go back and forth inside myself between an ample situation and a need; ample or need. And in the final image, I have it repeated, I am loaded with ample quantities of whatever I need. It’s a relief. I can go anywhere with that.

With anything that could come up, I can always reach for that. Unfortunately, timing is everything, even on the inner. It turns out that in the story here, I have15 minutes perhaps, before I have to be somewhere, but on a whole other zone or level. And there’s not enough time to take all I need with me. I can go back to it when I’m able to integrate it and bring that back. But I can’t take it with me at this point. I have to leave it behind. And so as I’m laying back, I see what took place in an abbreviated way and the heading of it is ‘A New Knowledge’ and new isn’t spelled N-E- W . Its spelled K N E W, a knew knowledge. So the meditation dream is suggesting when my need is not met and I still have about me more than I need; I bring the two levels together and it changes everything. If I was to separate the two as if they stand alone, one is a disaster and the other is an ongoing euphoria, just easy peasy.

We are still staying in the meditation dream. You have a contrast within what is considered a spiritual illusion. Apparently it takes in both halves, it can take in the poverty mentality or mannerism we’ll call it, that causes everything to go to pieces, no matter what you do. Or it can have a other whole quality, in which there’s a magic Juju behind it all, where something actually evolves and you just go with that. So, as I said, spiritual illusion, if you give it a deeper meaning is not just something that occurs on the inbreath of oneself it can also be something in terms of karma or mannerism on the out-breath that leads to catastrophe.

The sleep dream is a very interesting dream. I’m wondering if I should tell it and then read it or just read it. I think I’ll just try to read it and tell it at the same time, to fill in the pieces. The dream starts out where I’m in a line in which those in line with me are all deadbeats, dropouts, just trying to get by. I’m near the back of the line and next to me is a person who doesn’t say anything. He’s kind of a reject to the rejects. I mean, us rejects in this line at least know we’re rejects. And we have that in common. We can talk back and forth in terms of our plight, but we reject him because, he somehow is an even greater reject than us.

We’re better off than him. He’s a sick looking guy with pocked face and stuff, but I talked to him. And then at some particular point, and I’ll just fit this in. I have been in another scenario, in line, also in a dire situation. And and when I came to the front, there was a security guard there that was a nobody, just thrown out there. He was a reject in his fashion. He didn’t fit with what he was gaurding. They could throw him in the trash at any time. He was one of the expendable of the expendables, pathetic, but we’ll see if he drew abuse upon himself. I talked to him and we were immediately friends. That was just the flashback.

Now back to the main story. Here in the line up, there’s the pockey face, sick guy who looks pitiful; and me. We are waiting for what’s inside the buildings that we’re lined up before, all us rejects as if we’re looking for something. The dream doesn’t explain what we’re looking for here, whether it’s food or a job or something else. You’re given an opportunity to offer something or present yourself in some fashion and the pockey face guy does something rather incredible. And so, he’s entitled to move up and because I’m his friend, I move up with him and we go up near the front. When I get up to the front, maybe he was just disguised all the time, because someone in the building had come out and he seems to know who they are.

While they’re joshing away, I am standing next to him, kind of out of place; a little to the side of the line. And I see two other people up front that I kind of recognize. Who would have guessed? They motion for me to cut in where they’re at. So I go over there. When we get in and I realize, boy, was he in a disguise? He’s connected to the head of the organization, right? The pockey face sick guy! And he talks to people. Then we go mingling, I think we go into a bar. In this bar is a very narrow faced no personality high pitched squeaky guy that knows this pockey face, they are the best of buddies. I look at him and think what’s going on here? You know, he’s very flat, no personality, but boy was I wrong! Eventually as we’re talking about the operations and things, this other guy turns out to be an attorney and he’s the main attorney. He handles all of the delicate issues and he says that he’s bailing things out left and right all the time, because they have to turn to him. He’s the guy. And he works hand in hand with this pockey face guy.

So then at some point the pockey face guy offers me a key role in the entire operation. I say, I’m no good at such a thing. I’ve always worked on my own. Sorry about that. Thank you. But no, thank you. I can’t cut the mustard. Well the pock face guy is brilliant. He pulls all the strings to the whole thing. I didn’t really realize that. He reads people better than anyone I’ve ever known, without hesitation. He can see how my independence can apply and work with the organization. So all of a sudden it’s like I’m in like Flynn with what makes this go. Associated straight away with the top of the top. Now back to the flashback and how I come across the security guard and he’s been given the shaft of course, and he’s crying and broken down. Same old pattern, mistreated from the get-go. He has found the base as part of the Juju of his nature. But I look at him and I know that he’s the real deal, a wonderful guy. In spite of the fact that he’s an immigrant and a minority and automatically discriminated against, that’s not how I am. So I take him before the pockey faced guy. In the end, it is the pockey face guy, the attorney, me and this down and out security guard running the entire shop. Who would have guessed?

So that was what happened last night. And you have to kind of sit with the meditation dreams to see how the long story fits in terms of pulling it together, showing how all of that functions in terms of the inner into the outer. How that comes across, and the central aspect, the driving engine behind all of it is that you have to let go of all of the spiritual illusions. Those are the illusions that you carry on the in breath lilt of yourself in terms of your image of yourself and the spiritual illusion that you can have based upon the story of being down and out, and attached to your poverty mentality with anything that can go wrong, going wrong. How do you rise above that? That is the story of the security gaurd. The impressions that one carries because of the spiritual illusion we hold in our image of ourself is the story of the pocky faced guy. He wasnt in the same space that the others in the line were in.

This is a continuation also of my dream of the whole thing that occurred yesterday, which was really evident in the conversation that I had with my friend and there for the first 20 minutes of that, I was so flat that I couldn’t function,I was dead, just dead, then because I normally would have some kind of spiritual comment or input I started surfacing from the ashes and what came out of that with him was incredible.

I was listening more intently, because I could’nt believe what I knew, what I was saying, and what I had learned somehow. It was all right there: meant to be. I just had to go through this little barrier, this spiritual illusion that fits both above and below; Below being my attachments to my poverty and the above being my concepts of how I carry myself.